I never thought this day would come! I almost gave up and told myself "This is who I am now" "I am that girl with the crooked smile who's lip pulls up and cheek pulls out and eye twitches as if I was under a lot of stress!! I had HFS! (okay, imagine a typical eye twitch..now imagine an eye twitch with your whole right face twitching with it happening more than 10x an hour EVERY SINGLE DAY!) I thought all the time "WHY ME!" other days I would say "It could be worse" I was everywhere with emotions having this. It was a roller coaster for sure. Until one day I found a support group and realized other people had it and some went with botox (which I tried) and some with surgery. I remember saying "HECK NO I WILL NEVER DO THAT" the surgery seemed too crazy and not worth it! I remember reading about the surgeries and how some would post they lost their hearing and I remember telling my husband "I have two little kids , I don't want to lose my hearing, I rather just suck it up and live with this." Then I found myself hitting a depression because of it. I couldn't go out in public as much as I did before. I would make excuses as to why I couldn't attend events, parties, etc.. I was so sick and tired of explaining to everyone "OH, my face is doing this because a blood vessel and nerve are clicking etc etc.." (btw, you can google hemifacial spasms to see exactly what it is)
So fast forward 2 years later ! 2 years of living day by day , hour by hour, minute by minute like this I knew I had enough and wanted to be the mother that I have always wanted to be with my kids and the wife I wanted to be to my husband and the person I wanted myself to be. I wanted my smile back. I wanted to be able to put makeup on again without it taking longer because my face would start twitching out of control! I started researching doctors that specialized in MVD's (microvascular decompression surgery) I was scared but anxious. I had a neurologist before and he said botox and doesn't think the surgery is safe. I was gullible and in the beginning stage of HFS when he told me this so I remember that but then I thought "well why not." I found a doctor close by..well 2 hours away but he was an OG at this. He specialized in this and I felt like I had to go to him. His name is Dr. Alksne in San Diego Ca. Him and the power of God changed my life. Getting surgery November 17th was the best decision for my spasms. I can now smile. I can laugh without twitching. I can yell at my husband without looking like my eyeball was going to fall out haha. I can speak to people without hiding my face with my hair. It's amazing. I even put mascara on the other day and didn't have to wait for a spasm to stop! I feel like I am back. YAY!!! Just thought I would update you guys a little and share some pictures of my experience. Btw, if you are curious..I am still recovering. I didn't lose my hearing 100% I have a little bit of a muffled feeling in one ear but I heard it can drain out eventually. I am going to be 2 weeks post op tomorrow so I still have a lot of recovering to do.
Thanks for taking the time to read this! see ya in the next post!
|Above - My first time getting botox and how it left my smile for a bit :(|
|Getting botox a second time. This time by a wonderful group called california cosmetics, the eyebrow and lip lift were awesome but unfortunately my spasms were already too out of control where it didn't work.|
|3 pictures above are video stills from a youtube video I did explaining what I was diagnosed with. Crazy!|
WOW WHAT A JOURNEY IT HAS BEEN!
I also documented my experience with this on my vlog channel so you can click HERE to watch it.